Think the conversation went badly? They probably like you more than you think
Boothby, Cooney, Sandstrom & Clark · Psychological Science, 2018
01The result
Two strangers talked for five minutes. Each one then guessed how much the other liked them. On average, they guessed too low. Their partner liked them more than they thought.
02Why it happens
After a talk, we go over what we said and worry about it. The more bad thoughts people had, the bigger the gap. People watching the videos could tell who liked whom. The talkers missed the signs.
03Not just strangers
The gap also showed up in talks as long as 45 minutes. First year students who lived together had it for months. By the end of the school year, it was gone.
04What it means
The researchers say this gap can get in the way of new friendships. We may hold back from someone who already likes us.
05Limitations
This is an average. It does not mean everyone likes you. The studies did not test work reviews or team meetings.
Original paper
- Boothby et al. (2018), Psychological Science, doi:10.1177/0956797618783714
- doi.org/10.1177/0956797618783714
Also checked
- https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/906899
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/ulterior-motives/201910/other-people-probably-you-more-you-think-they-do
- https://sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/09/180910160629.htm
- https://repository.essex.ac.uk/23025/
- https://explore.psychsafety.com/n/boothby-et-al-2018/
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